The 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction awards have been announced, this being the 25th anniversary of the prestigious writing competition.

For those blissfully unaware of this event, each year the judging panel selects the worst opening line of an imaginary novel.

All of the winners are great in their intentional effort to replicate an unintentionally funny piece of prose.

However, my favorites were the winner in children’s literature…

Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.

And the runner up in vile puns.

The droppings of the migrating Canada geese just missed the outdoor revelers at the inaugural Asian math puzzle competition, marking the first time that dung flew over Sudoku Fest.

The fact that the overall winner is writing a self-help book for slackers called “Self-Improvement Through Total Inactivity” says a great deal about the people who enter this contest.

bulwer-lytton, bad writing