Earlier this month the AP reported on a school where parents were upset over the red ink teachers were marking on their kid’s papers. All that red was too stressful. So, the principal is now asking teachers to use more "pleasant-feeling tones" for their grading.

What colors should they use? Here are a few suggestions.

PINK Cheery color for boosting the self-esteem of a student with early-onset incontinence, or who gets picked last for games on the playground. Adorn remarks with smiley-faces.

MAGENTA The mandatory color code for "I know you copied your whole paper from another student’s work." A judgmental tone is taboo, however; the student obviously suffers from IPTS, or Intellectual Property Theft Syndrome — a disorder often found among leading authors, indicating that he/she may be highly gifted and simply experimenting with moral margins as a philosophical exercise. Optimal solution: Give a grade of A+.

I wonder how big a box of Crayolas schools will need to buy for each teacher to make everyone happy.